I tell ya bloggies,
This has been a summer of bein' busy 'n just plain doin' things. Why we've been back 'n forth ta the cottage, on ta earthdog practice 'n back again, But now we're back up ta the cottage 'n we're havin' another grand time.
So since I have a new job, bein' a reporter, a real reporter......I have another report ta file.........
We were over ta Grandma Judy's house again 'n after dinner we looked out inta the side yard and what did we see ?
Well, let me show ya......
Now bein' a special canine reporter is a really hard job. 'N I always try ta do my best at collectin' all the facts 'n then filin' my report.
Since I love ta be consistent, I was way ahead of everyone else as I came out of the woods inta a small clearing. I thought I heard a scratchin’ noise, so my ears perked right up and my tail started twitchin’. I was still and alert waitin’ ta see if the scratchin’ sound came again. It did.
I put my nose ta the ground ta see if I could follow any scent. Could this be a vermin diggin’ a tunnel ta escape my jaws or a turkey scratchin’ fer food? I wanted ta find out. Fer sure......
So I went further inta the clearin’ and further away from Gram, Pap, and my Mom ‘n Toby. I was on my own in this adventure. But I didn’t care…..somethin’was up and I wanted ta know what it was.
I came around a big clump of brush and the scratchin sound got louder…..I was getting’ closer ta the source of my curiosity. I perked my ears up another notch and listened again……the noise was comin’ from just around the bend so I ventured on quietly….tryin’ not ta step on any twigs or fallen branches.
As I rounded the bend, I saw a sight the likes of which I have never seen before. There knelt a woman that looked like someone straight outta a circus. She had on long flowin’ clothes, certainly not the kind of outfit ya expect ta see in the middle of a clearin’ just outside of the woods. Jewelry hung from her neck and ears and as I rounded the corner, she looked up and smiled at me. It was the smile of a clown with a painted face. She had blackened, raised eyebrows, wild eyes and a shock of unruly hair wavin’ in the breeze on the top of ‘er pointed head. I stopped dead in my tracks. I had never seen a creature like this even in my wildest dreams….those were usually reserved for rabbits, chipmunks, mice and rats……and this vision before me was absolutely frightenin’. The garish creature was somethin’ outta a cartoon book.
It brought ta mind a plot on Days of Our Lives, Gram’s soap-opera, where Vivian Alamain buried Carly Manning alive years ago. Why did she do it? Because she didn’t like ‘er…can ya imagine bein’ buried alive? I sure couldn’t imagine what a horrible feelin’ that would be. I do remember Gram tellin’ me that Carly was found in time ta save ‘er from a horrible fate of dyin’ before ‘er time. Now would the person whose toes I was starin’ at be that lucky?
Well, that was up ta me….wasn’t it? I was the only one around ‘n if anyone was gonna change the fate of the person attached ta those toes, it would have ta be me. I squared up my shoulders, held my head erect, perked up my ears, cranked up my tail and let out a blood curdlin’ bark. And another. And another. I just stood there barkin’ at that silly-lookin’ woman with the garish face and outlandish costume.
She stopped what she was doin’ and got up from her kneelin’ position. Without sayin’ a word or utterin’ a sound, she turned ta face the woods and ran. And ran and ran…….. I tell ya she sure wasn’t dressed fer runnin’ in the woods….no siree. But she ran like a banshee…those flowin’ clothes were awavin’ in the breeze. I watched as she disappeared from sight deep inta the thicket of trees.
The next step was up ta me. I ran ta the mound of dirt and began ta dig…..’n dig…..’n dig. Why I always knew that I could be an earthdog if I really tried and now was my chance. Dirt was flyin’ in all directions and I was diggin’ a hole that would make my Pap proud……’n my Gram mad cause I was getting’ dirty and my Mom jealous cause it was a fantastic hole. Silly Toby wouldn’t know what ta make of it at all. I dug ‘n I dug until I uncovered the rest of the foot belongin’ ta those toes. The toes weren’t wigglin’ at all…’n that was not a good omen…..not at all. I started diggin’ faster ‘n faster.
I was nearly speechless (well, maybe barkless....) after findin’ a leg but not the soft fleshy one I was expectin’. The leg was plastic ‘n attached ta a manikin…the kind ya see dressed in fancy clothes in a store window. It wasn’t Carly Manning that I was savin’ from a terrible fate at all…..it was a silly statue. I was mortified….simply mortified. How could I make such a terrible mistake? It had ta be one whopper of a mistake because I always listened ta Gram’s silly stories about her Soap- Opera and the terrible things the villains did ta the pillars of the community. I was duped. Thankfully no one saw me dig up the manikin. I could cover up the hole and be on my way back ta Gram, Pap and the rest of the terriers before anyone discovered my mistake. It was embarassin’ ta say the least.
And that’s what I did. My paws threw that dirt back inta the hole and I covered up all the evidence including those silly telltale non-wigglin’ toes. What was that woman doin’ in the woods in that fancy clothin’ diggin’ a hole ta bury a statue? There she was actin’ extremely suspicious, runnin’ after I barked and disappearin’ deep inta those woods. I don’t think there was a circus in town and that’s where she belonged. I have no idea what she was up ta and I guess I will never know what her real purpose was….she was long gone ‘n I was left standin’ there lookin’ utterly confused.
‘N I tell ya that no one else will know about it either cause I’m not tellin’ anyone how stupid I was ta fall fer that suspicious lookin’ scene unfoldin’ before my very eyes in a clearin’ in the wilderness. My bark is sealed.
‘N I’m countin’ on ya not ta tell either. Ya won’t say a word, will ya? Please tell me yer lips are sealed…..’n yer bark too…….
Wanna learn more.....visit Shafali's Blog fer more caricatures and laughs.....
I'll give ya the evil eye if ya don't behave............'n help me out here.......
Tomorrow is the 4th of July
'n 234 years ago tomorrow, this country
declared it's Independence from the British Empire
Happy Birthday America !!!!!
May ya have many more !!!!
This is Dewey Dewster reportin' on Deer in Grandma Judy's yard......How ta Cool Off in Summer...... A Whale of a Tale and Americas Birthday.......whew....what a long report.......
How was that Mercury aka Shafali?